Technology Galore

It can be both a blessing and a curse. Continue reading to learn how technology can impact a family.

The days of kids playing outside or making up games, on their own to play with their siblings and friends are long gone. It is in this way that I, and many others, believe that our children’s creativity and imaginations are being stifled and, even worse, eliminated altogether.

This would only work if I held myself to the same standard...

We now live in a world that craves more and nothing is ever enough. Our 5, 10 and even 15-year old children throw temper-tantrums when we tell them that they are not getting that new video game. Children as young as 4-years old now have cell phones and they talk about other children, their age and older, whose parents have chosen not to buy them one. Am I crazy or is this ridiculous?

Don’t get me wrong, technology is the way of the world - especially with the onset of this crisis that we are living through - and I am an advocate for our children staying knowledgeable and in the fast lane when dealing with this. However, I also feel that it needs to be controlled because technology addiction, even among children, is a reality. That is probably why pediatricians suggest avoiding screen time up until at least 18 months.

I began noticing this new form of addiction years ago but never actually experienced it myself until my now 16-year old daughter started to get a bit irritable just being around her siblings. One night, after slaving over a hot stove, I called the kids downstairs for dinner. I prepared their plates, sat them on the table and then stepped out of the kitchen for a moment to answer a call or send an email, can’t remember which.

When I came back in and proceeded to sit down at the table, I noticed that there was no one at the table and that my children had each gotten their plates and went into the family room and other parts of the house. At this time, each of my children had hand-held video gaming devices, access to 2 laptops, tablets, and a few cell phones. This is when I realized that I had contributed to this madness because of my desire for my kids to not be “left out” and to be “in the know.” I was contributing to my children barely saying 2 words to each other, let alone myself, and I was not happy about this.

This family was becoming the family I grew up in as a child and it was not at all what I had envisioned for my family to be. It was a cycle I was desperate to break and determined to not see any longer in my bloodline. I wanted to communicate with my children but I noticed that I had given up control of my home for what seemed convenient and as a result, my relationship with my kids was almost non-existent. I blamed it on the stress of being a single working mom and not having enough time and all these other things but I purposely allowed my children to become more engaged with gadgets than with having a real conversation with me, their siblings, and other people period. It was not until I began to own the part that I had played in the dysfunction before I was really able to move forward and see change.

The change did not happen overnight, not by a long shot. It happened slowly and there were plenty of times when I just wanted to give up and let the gadgets continue to have control but I kept pushing forward. It probably would have been easier had I had someone in my corner, rooting me on and telling me that the end results would prove to be worth the proverbial “blood, sweat and tears” but I kept pushing forward nonetheless.

The main changes that I made were not that drastic. I didn’t take away and destroy all of the technology in my home nor did I restrict my children from being on these devices. Wasn't expecting that, were you? Neither was I. The only thing that really changed was the amount of time we used our gadgets each day. Yes, you read right... I realized that this would only work if I held myself to the same standard. We established a couple of new “traditions” in our household. One was simply that, each night, we would sit down and eat dinner TOGETHER and we would not be allowed to bring cell phones, tablets, video games, laptops or any other form of technology to the table. This was extremely difficult but it helped us to be able to reconnect in various ways but, most importantly, it has continued to aide us in how we communicate with one another and how we show our love and gratitude through our spoken words.

The other “tradition” that we established was that we take at least one day each week to not do anything at all with technology. I guess you could say it's a day of fasting from technology for us. Most of the time this is a weekend day because during the week we all need technology in some way - whether it is my children who are homeschooled and are at levels where they now have to research things online for certain projects and assignments or me needing to follow-up with a client - there's just no getting around it. We have these “No Technology Days” so that we can breathe, volunteer/serve, reconnect with each other and other people in our lives, and even do other things that we don’t get a chance to do when we are immersed in all of our technology.

This may or may not work for you and it may or may not be an issue for your family. If it isn’t, I congratulate you for starting out on the right foot from the beginning. You are my hero and among the few families that this has not become a major problem for. However, if you or someone you know are struggling with technology addiction or if you would just like to learn more about this “new” mental illness, visit WebMD and HelpGuide.org for additional resources and information.