Dating as a Single Parent

If you desire to be in a loving relationship that will lead to marriage, you have to start somewhere. In this post, we help you to let go of the guilt associated with taking time away from your child so that you can develop a relationship with a significant other.

Truth moment... I had not seriously thought about dating until about six months ago. In fact, I have not been on a date in over 4 years. Prior to this, I almost felt overlooked. It took a long time for me to want to be married again. It almost seems as if I spoke men into existence and they were given the "go ahead" to start approaching me after I made up my mind that I really wanted to go down this road. Then I had the mommy guilt and I gave up all hope of ever being in a committed relationship that could lead to marriage.

A change in perspective comes as your mind is being renewed...

Now I know what you must be thinking. You might be asking yourself how in the world am I going to give you advice on dating as a single parent when I haven't been on a date in years. I get it and I can respect that question. My goal is not to pretend that I have all of the answers - because I am learning this right along with you - my goal is always to help with the renewal of your mind that comes with changing your perspective about a situation. So without further ado, let's get into this topic.

Dating as a single mom or dad can be really hard. It doesn't matter whether you are single as a result of divorce, the death of a spouse, leaving unhealthy relationships, or by choice, most of us desire to marry or remarry someday. There are people who believe that dating and being a single parent is not possible. It definitely can be if you are not prepared. One of the very first things that you need to get deep down in your soul is that you are not neglecting your children if you happen to go out on a date with someone. The best way to deal with this is to set boundaries from the beginning so that you can ensure everyone in your life is getting the best of you. Yes, boundaries are very necessary and the right person will understand this and may even admire this about you.

Many women feel like they need to give a man that they are trying to get to know all of their time. If you are doing this as a single parent, you are quite possibly crossing the line of neglect at that point so I am going to need you to pull it on back a couple of notches. It is okay to take your time and not always be available when the potential mate calls. You shouldn't be playing games but you still have a life to live that you were clearly living before this person came into the picture so you should continue to live that life. Granted you two will need to make time for each other so that you can both see if this is where each of you desire to be but boundaries are still extremely important.

Also, be sure to take your time getting to know the other person. Chris Rock said, "When you meet somebody for the first time, you're not meeting them, you're meeting their representative." Anyone can put on an act for a certain amount of time but everyone shows their true colors eventually so just wait it out. If the other person is not willing to go at your pace, you should have a conversation with them to ensure that your standards are clear. If they are still unwilling to slow down and you are becoming uncomfortable, this is a sign that you need to run.

There are plenty of other tips that could be included but I will end with this. I have encountered many people who speak negatively about dating a single parent. You have to remember this, what is a negative for one person can actually be a positive for someone else. Being too busy, financial instability, and having to reschedule plans are not realities in the life of all single parents. Many single parents are very organized, they manage their finances well, they will set aside time to spend with a potential mate, and will be overly communicative so that you always know where you stand. There are bad apples in every bunch but single parents need love just like anyone else so why not let everyone play in the same field? You'll likely be pleased with how this person could enhance your life.