Should I Let My Child Date?

The most important thing to consider when deciding this is how will this impact your child's life.

When I was a teenager, I used to say that I would let my children date whenever they wanted to. This was likely because I was not allowed to do so. My grandmother did not play that and all of the kids knew it! And although I was not allowed to date, that did not stop me from trying to sneak and do it behind my mom and my grandmother's backs. Yes, I was THAT girl and I'm not proud of it.

"I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or by the does of the field, do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases." (Song of Solomon 2:7 NKJV)

That is why it's still surreal for me to be writing a post that is attempting to offer sound advice to others. The bible is true when it says, "When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things" (1 Corinthians 13:11 NKJV). This is not to say that dating is childish because it definitely is not, but it is to say that my mindset about this was childish in essence.

There is a reason why God tells us not to stir up or awaken love until it pleases (Song of Solomon 2:7; 8:4 KJV). In another translation, these verses read, "until the time is ripe and you're ready." This is why I decided that I would not allow my children to date until they were 18. Although I do have a standard age when my children can look forward to being able to date, I understand that there is a lot of work to do to prepare them for this time in their lives before it arrives.

I strongly believe that with everything that I know and have personally experienced in dating and relationships, it would be foolish of me to think that my children can or should have to figure out how to deal with these new emotions and other things at 13 years old. Children are growing up faster and faster so why take away their childhood and cause them to experience things that they have not been prepared for? This seems to be awakening love and other things before it's time and that is simply not a wise thing to do.

As a Christian, I do believe that there is a time for everything (Ecclesiastes 3:1) and as a single mother, I trust God to guide me in how to raise my children. I know I don't always get it right but this is simply an issue that I won't budge on. It's funny because I've been blessed to have some pretty amazing kids but even they push to date earlier from time to time. At the end of the day, I know that I have their best interest at heart and they know that there is always a reason behind everything that I do and more often than not, it is because I understand that being a parent is a high calling.

So I said all of that to say this... this is really a question that should be left up to each family to choose for themselves and their child. Only you, God and your child know what your family can handle. When it came to me and my family, my natural response was to consult God. As I spent time with Him, I knew He was telling me to trust Him so I did. I hope that you will too.